I know I can't control my dreams, but they are getting super annoying. All this self-doubt relationship crap. Ok, so maybe I have some unspoken wedding/relationship fears that I haven't talked about to anyone because they'll think that it means that I'm not ready to get married. But seriously, does my subconscious really have to remind me of this stuff every night?
Some of you have heard about these super annoying, conflicting dreams that I have been having lately.
Most of them have had to do with me being engaged to someone (usually Yannick) but not being exactly sure why I'm marrying him because he is an asshole. Then about halfway through, I remember that I'm engaged to someone else, but I can't remember his name. When I wake up, my first thoughts are "Jimmy! His name is Jimmy! AAAGHHHH!"
Sometimes my dreams are about me inadvertently cheating on him, and me being super worried about it because it wasn't my fault and what not and how am I ever going to tell him and oh why me!
And then I wake up, and thank goodness I haven't cheated on him (well, lately at least)* and imagine how terrible it would be if I had and vow never to cheat!
Ok, so I guess I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, but I felt like writing would be cathartic so I gave it a try.
Sorry for the rambling
*Ok, yes, I have cheated on Jimmy. But it was at the beginning-ish or our relationship and he knows about those times and has forgiven me and gotten over it.
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